The "Perfect" Travel Partner

A trip can make or break a relationship.

It’s a fact.

Whether that relationship is romantic or platonic, travelling together will quickly show you whether you’re compatible. Travel is brutally honest. Unlike people, it hides nothing.

There are many stories I could share where, after a trip, I never looked at someone the same way again. But today, I’ll share one where I was a witness rather than a contributor.

The story

It was November 2021 in Paris. It was my first time back since 2004 and my first time seeing the Eiffel Tower sparkle.

My friend and I had planned a simple evening; we'd have dinner, go for a walk to the Eiffel Tower, watch it sparkle, then head back to the hotel. (For context, the Eiffel Tower sparkles every hour, on the hour, for five minutes.)

After dinner, we walked to the park behind the Eiffel Tower and waited. Sitting on the grass in front of us was a couple who were very clearly on a date. Wine, late night picnic...some Parisian romance.

As the Eiffel Tower began to sparkle, the woman got up and walked a few steps away to take a photo. She left her bag behind with the man - who I’ll assume was her boyfriend.

At that exact moment, a group of three guys walked past. Without hesitation, they picked up her bag and kept walking.

The man she was on a date with did nothing. No movement. No reaction. Nothing.

A few moments later, the woman realised it was her bag that the group of guys picked and she gasped and shouted,
“THAT’S MY BAG!”
She ran after them and snatched it straight out of one of the guy’s hands.

The guy who had taken the bag showed no change in expression. The woman, however, was furious.

“IS THAT YOUR BAG? NO! IT’S NOT! IT’S MY BAG! WHY DID YOU TAKE SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T BELONG TO YOU?!”

Clearly done for the night, the group backed off. While the guy who picked up her bag (read: stole her bag) handed it back, the other two tried to convince her it was all a misunderstanding - that they, in fact, were just giving it back.

Once the woman had the bag, she opened it, checked everything was still there, then turned to the man she was with and shouted:

“LOUIS! LOUIS! YOU FOOL! YOU DIDN’T SEE! THEY TOOK MY BAG!”

Louis still didn't seem to move.

At this point, I genuinely wondered if he had a hearing impairment, when suddenly my friend shouted,
“Louis! Sir! Excuse me!”

Louis looked up.

My friend continued,
“Your girlfriend is calling you. You need to go with her.”

Louis glanced at the glass of wine in front of him, then back at my friend.

My friend, being the bold woman she is, doubled down:
“Forget the wine, sir! I’ll look after it! You NEED TO GO WITH YOUR GIRL!”

Only then did Louis realise that his girlfriend had already stormed quite far away and he had better get up! He picked up both glasses of wine - one in each hand - and ran after her. Double-fisting, as Gen Z would say.

My friend turned to me and said,
“Oof. Imagine having a Louis as your boyfriend.”

(I was single at the time.)

We burst out laughing.

Later that night, when we were retelling the story, my friend had a realisation. It occurred to her that she needed to vet the guys she was dating a little more carefully. So she called a guy she’d recently matched with on Bumble and told him the story.

Then she asked,
“So Pierre… if my bag had been stolen, would you fight the guys for me?”

Pierre, completely stumped, replied,
“Err… I’m not very muscular, my love. I don’t know if I could fight.”

That was all she needed to hear.

When she got back to the UK and met Pierre in person, she ended things and texted me:
“We don’t need a Louis in our lives.”

Louis - being quite possibly the worst travel partner in the history of travel partners - managed to break up not one, but two relationships that night. His own (if the woman was smart)… and my friend’s.

Like I said, a trip can make or break a relationship. In this case, it broke two!

To those celebrating Valentine’s Day this weekend with their partners:
don’t be a Louis and don't be with a Louis.

For those that are single and secretly wishing for someone special in their lives, remember; it is better to stay single than to have Louis.